My first days were somehow nothing and everything I expected. I know it sounds crazy, but it happened. There are so many feelings that somehow magically wake up when a baby is born that you can't possibly know beforehand how it's going to be. That was what made me realize what I was meant to do. Before, I wasn't listening to my inner voice, got sidetracked and went to school for Economics.
Great question about Utopia. My Utopia happens everytime a mom, baby and dad reach that level of confidence that they don't need my Lactation Services anymore. Giving them back the confidence and certainty that breastfeeding is the best beginning for their new baby is priceless. I totally believe that parents nowadays are bombarded with doubts about their parenting skills, even from family members. As a result, their confidence is brought down and parental instincts distorted. Restoring their confidence and harmony with their inner voice and parenting skills is what made my Utopia tangible.

Saray
www.mothersutpia.org

Posted bij Anastasia Cunningham

What struck me the most with my daughter's birth was how simple it was compared to my son's. Though I didn't plan it this way, I "walked in pushing," after laboring mostly in the car on the way to the hospital. I had planned a natural birth with a midwife, but being in an NYC hospital, I was nervous. I felt like a million bucks afterwards. I couldn't believe how calm and alert my daughter was. And I couldn't believe how easily breast feeding came to both of us.

Posted by Melissa Pearl

It was all so surreal. Within a few minutes of delivering my first daughter, I was completely overwhelmed. I hadn't yet held her, was still lying there waiting for my placenta to vacate and then she started crying. I began to wonder what I had gotten myself into? How would I care for her? What was I thinking with this whole motherhood thing? But then she was finally placed in my arms. And something inexplicable took over. So to shorten this long, rambling story, I was most taken by how much I could love this teeny tiny bundle. It's been seven years and I still well up thinking about that very moment when I first felt a love like no other.

Posted by Edi Denton on July 9th

I've had two very different new-mom experiences. My first home birth, though short, was super-intense. I labored six hours, but almost two of that was pushing, due to a cord issue. My beautiful boy was born healthy and strong, with the cord wrapped twice around his neck and once around the length of his body and between his legs. I had to deliver in a squat to get him out, and that meant sacrificing my perineum. There was a big tear, stitches, and exhaustion to contend with. Then we began breastfeeding, which was difficult and painful. But perhaps the most difficult thing as a new mom was realizing that my body was not my own...I was sharing it with my baby. I remember feeling less like a person and more like a science experiment, even though I was benefiting from the best, most nurturing and professional midwife care. Something essential and central to the Self is opened up when you give birth, and I think that it's not always easy, especially if you're self-centered, like me. You're not autonomous any more. Some independence is lost, and there is this tiny, beautiful person counting on you and depending on you for everything. There is a loss of control.

I think this can be really hard, even if the mother receives excellent support, because something inside her has to change. A new mother needs to be encouraged not to "fix" the situation, or to "get control" of it...but to surrender to it. To become a mother. To be overwhelmed by all the hormones and the love and the loss of self and the awesome burden of responsibility that are going to make her a more beautiful person with more depth of spirit than she could have ever imagined. She needs to be taught that sitting in a chair nursing her baby, learning his face, letting him hear her voice, is more valuable than anything else...laundry, the kitchen floor, missed social obligations, thank-you notes. Thank-you notes are a curse on new mothers...they should be abolished.

My second birth experience was so redemptive for me. It was much easier and gentler...another short labor, but without the intensity. My friend who was there called it a commonplace miracle because it just seemed like...not a big deal. And afterward, I was very intentional about reminding myself to savor each moment as if each moment was a world...a universe...a history unto itself. Even though it was still difficult, with childcare issues and double mastitis to contend with, I managed to find a place inside myself of surrender and peace.

I encourage new mothers to let go and seek surrender.

I remember the face of my little one and how mesmerized is was of it. I couldn't stop watching. And how nature did it's job and everything fits in like clockwork. Amazing that your breasts start making milk and your little one knows what do. The umbilical cord, meconium, the tears and emotions just to mention a few. If you really think about it (now) because at that time I just did it, too tired to think. Maybe that's nature too.

Gea Meijering